Therapy and Love
by Stars-tonight
Summary: High school AU. Spock Grayson is the new boy in town, and Jim falls head over heels. To make things awkward, Amanda Grayson is Jim's new therapist. Just a small idea and I suck at summaries...
1. Chapter 1

James Tiberius Kirk knew the type of people who moved in to the 'posh bit' of Riverside, and knew the new boy wasn't going to any different. So, he was going to ignore him and get on with his life.

When he met the new boy, Mr Spock Grayson, a.k.a the most amazing and perfect guy ever (Jim's words) he changed his mind and was going to make Spock his, even if it killed him. Or killed anyone else for that matter.

It was the first day of the new school year, his senior year, and James Kirk was already running late. He had rolled over in bed, and stared sleepily at the clock, which read 8:57 am. As in, 4 minutes until his first class began. Leaping out of bed, he moved faster than he ever had before, washing his blond hair, eating breakfast and getting dressed in 10 minutes, before hoping on his bike and racing to school. He tried to fix up his uniform a little as he peddled; fixing his tie, smoothing down his shirt and checking to see if he had missed any stains on his blazer. All of his uniform used to either belong to his brother Sam, who graduated 3 years ago or to his best friend Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, who graduated last year.

As Jim skidded into Riverside Academy's car park, he was surprised at the emptiness, with only a few cars and students. Among the few there were his friends, sat on the grand steps, laughing at him.

The group consisted of Nyota Uhura, the beautiful, bi-lingual, captain of the cheerleading squad with flawless, chocolate skin, soft, perfect hair and a skinny figure. Then there was Montgomery 'Scotty' Scot, a techno-geek from Glasgow, Scotland. He was an average looking guy who could always be seen in a beany hat, which tartan print most of the time, fiddling with some gadget or robot. Though now he was dating Nyota he was fiddling with her. Then there was Pavel Chekov, the Russian whiz-kid and newest member of the group. He was only 16 and was graduating with his friends, who had been in education a year longer. Pavel was recognizable by his light, curly hair, big green eyes and was always getting his v's and w's mixed up. And finally, there was Hiraku Sulu, Iowa's fencing champion, and a great botanist. He and Jim had been great friends since they were 3, and were always causing mischief together. All of them were dressed in their brand new, clean uniform's, as they all came from the upper-class side of Riverside; the right side of the river.

Then there was Jim. From the wrong side of the river, who had to work for everything he wanted, and 99% of the time didn't get. Who didn't live with his parents, of who bought them cars and let them do whatever they wanted. Jim loved them all to pieces, they were his best friends, but he envied them so much.

Having locked his bike away, Jim shuffled over to the group, who had thankfully stopped laughing.

"Bones set your clock an hour early, so you wouldn't be late" Nyota said, with a giggle. Bones usually woke Jim up, driving over early and picking him up. However, Bones had returned to his native Georgia to study medicine, so Jim was left to do things for himself.

"I figured that. I'll get him back when he comes to visit" Jim muttered, sitting next to Pavel, in a bit of a huff. He was so tired, having worked an extra shift at the garage and the bar. "So, how was your holiday?"

"Vonderful! I vent to Russia to wisit my babushka and deen I vent to California vith Hiraku" Pavel said, with a wide grin. He was too cute for his own good most days, and was always being hugged by girls when he spoke. Too bad he played for the other team, though he was unaware at the moment; the kid set off Jim's gay-dar on a daily basis.

"I went back to Scotland to see me family, and me mam and gran adore Nyota, though they sa' she needs a good, proper meal" Scotty said, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.

They were an odd couple, head cheerleader and geek; it was kind of like one of those chick flicks Jim didn't watch but knew all about. The got together just before Christmas, at a football game. Scotty found Nyota, crying under the bleachers, and Scotty, a perfect gentleman, picked her up, carried to his car, drove her to the coffee shop, bought her coffee and listened to everything she had to say, before taking her home, and didn't leave until she was perfectly fine. The next day they were smitten, holding hands and giggling. Scotty made her laugh like no-one else could, and he would hold her close when she was sad or stressed. He was the best thing that had happened to her and Jim knew they would be together for a long time, their different 'social classes' had nothing to do with it.

"You know how my holidays went, we stayed together" Nyota replied, with a grin.

"Yeah, and what fun that was" Jim added extra sarcasm. "I had to deal with you crying about how you missed Scotty, then when he came back early, and I was staying over, I had to listen to you fuck. I want a boyfriend, so we could do the same back"

"My new neighbour is gay"

"I'll pass"

"You haven't met him"

"I know his type. I love you guys to death, but I know the type of people who move onto that estate; rich boys with flashy cars and all the newest toys and gadgets. I've been used by enough people from that side and I'm sick of it" Jim sighed, as he clenched his fists.

"Jim, you haven't met him yet. He and his parents came over when they moved in, and he honestly is a really nice, handsome guy. And he asked about you, cos he saw the picture of us at spring break" Nyota said softly, with a small, sympathetic smile. Jim thought about it; Nyota wouldn't set him up with a jerk.

"You should at least give him a try" Hiraku added, making Jim consider it. Hiraku knew him better than anyone else.

"What's his name?" Jim muttered, standing up.

"Spock Grayson"

"I'll think about it… I have to go speak to Mr Pike. See ya at break" They all just nodded, letting the blond climb the grand steps and disappear into the large building, before continue to gossip.

Jim knocked on the large oak door, before walking in away, waving at the man behind the desk, Christopher Pike.

Jim had known the man all his life, as he had grown up with his father, George. When George was shot and killed whilst serving in Iraq, Chris quit the army, and helped Jim's mother with everything she need; buying the basics for her, taking the boys of her hands or just being there for her when she needed it. Chris and his wife were the most loving people ever.

Then, Wionna met Frank. Frank, to Wionna, was the man of her dreams, buying her a new house for them all to live in, always dotting after her and was generally lovely, when she was around, anyway.

When she wasn't around, as her new job meant she had to travel a lot, he was hell on legs. He stopped Chris from visiting, as he was afraid of losing Wionna to him, which wouldn't have happened but he wasn't the brightest man, and made sure Jim and Sam were in their places. He was especially mean to Jim, who reminded Wionna of her late husband. Jim had been beaten, starved and locked away, and he was sure Wionna knew all about this. So, one night when Jim was 15, he jumped out of his window and ran away.

The found him 3 months later, in New York, after witnessing a massacre that happened in a large shopping centre. Chris would not allow him to return to the house he ran away from, and Wionna had agreed to marry Frank. So Chris took both boys in. However, they decided they wanted to live independently, and Sam had already bought a flat, so Jim moved in with his big brother.

"Hello James, what can I help you with? And you need to have a new blazer" Chris said, with a smile.

"Hey, and I want to chat… and I was going to buy a new one, but the fridge broke so we had to buy a new one" Jim replied, sitting on one of the brown chairs on the other side of Chris's oversized desk; but being Headmaster had is perks.

"Jim, if you need something, you just have to ask. Here is what we will do, take on now and you can pay me back later, I don't want you to look like a tramp" Jim just smiled and nodded, and Chris left for a few moments, before returning with a new, bright blazer, handing it to Jim. He smiled softly at his new prize possession, taking his old one off before putting on the new one. Chris smile softly as well, before saying "You look just like your father"

"Thank you, Chris, for this, I promise to pay you back as soon as possible"

"I know you will. So, you wanted to chat?"

"Who's Spock Grayson?"

"He is a new student starting today, will be in all the advance placement classes, like you, and it is none of your business who he is. Why do you want to know?"

"Nyota Uhura is trying to set me up on a date with him, so I can decide whether I like him or not, could you tell me a little bit about him?" Chris sighed, knowing Jim wouldn't give up until he told him.

"He is a very bright young man, who also does a lot of work for his mother's charity in Africa, helping the Vulcan tribe, of which his father was once a member of, making him half-Vulcan. The clan are noticeable by their pointed ears, caused by a recessive gene, and great intelligence, both of which Spock has inherited, but they chose to live a hostile life. He is a gay-rights activist, openly gay himself. That is all I know of him. His parents are very successful in there respected fields, Mr Grayson is a Politian and Mrs Grayson is a teacher and therapist. **Your** new therapist and you have an appointment tonight, 4:30"

"Well, that is going to be eventful 'Hey Mrs Grayson, lovely to meet you, I'm going on a date with your son, now back to my mental health issue's'" Chris laughed, making the blond chuckle. "It's going to be awkward…"

"Don't mention it to her then" The bell interrupted the rest of what Chris wanted to say. "Go to class, and remember 4:30 at the hospital!"

"Will do. See ya later" Jim raced out, as Chris smiled. Then he remembered he had to greet the freshmen.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim's morning lessons got by in a breeze, but for the first time in his life, he was dreading lunch. Though he had not yet seen the mysterious Spock Grayson, he had a feeling he would be around today; he didn't sound like the type of guy to miss the first day of school, being a genius and all. Jim didn't like missing school, it was the one place he could be a normal teenager for 6 hours.

Anyway, as Jim attempted to sneak out of his history lesson, spy style up against the wall and all, he was grabbed by Pavel and Hiraku by the arms, who grinned evilly at him.

"Nyota sent you, didn't she?" Jim groaned, as he was dragged backwards, heels dragging.

"Noting personalz, Jim, butz she has paid us a wery handsome price" Pavel replied, with far too my glee. The Japanese man laughed at the look on the Russian's face, shaking his head. "Ve promise to buyz you coffee vith our vinnings"

"Now, come along Jimmy boy and meet your new boyfriend" Hiraku practically yelled, and Jim just groaned. He might as well get this over sooner, rather than later.

"Found him!" Pavel yelled, as they entered the upstairs seniors lounge. No-one except the group came up here, as the one downstairs was closer to the cafeteria and had a stereo. The upstairs one was decent enough; had really comfy sofa's, facing the large windows, were you could see the beautiful courtyard full of flowers in the spring. It also very quiet, tucked away from the hustle and bustle of school life, some books to read and a coffee machine. For the coffee loving group of awesome geeks, it was perfect.

Anyway, Jim didn't actually get to see the man until he was spun around, and was stood directly in front of him.

And he was fucking gorgeous.

And all Jim could think about was how gorgeous he was going to look whilst they were fucking.

Spock Grayson had jet black hair, which reminded Jim of a night sky on a cloudy day, styled slightly to the side, and deep chocolate eyes that were currently study Jim, making him feel a bit scruffy all of a sudden. His face was flawless; no pimples, scars or stubble (once again, adding to the scruffy feeling) and, even under his uniform, Jim could tell the guy was very toned. As Chris had said, Spock did indeed have rather pointy ears, and they were strangely making Jim want to lick them. Meaning he could no longer watch any Christmas specials without thinking about that. Or visit the mall at Christmas time.

"Spock, this is James Kirk" Nyota said, so sweet it made everyone's teeth hurt. "Jim, this is Spock"

"It is pleasure to meet you, James. Or do you prefer Jim?" Spock asked, very politely and in a very deep and sexy voice. Jim resisted the temptation to say 'You can call me whatever you want' like he'd normally say to drunk, cute men that hit on him when he worked nights.

"Jim is fine… nice to meet you too. Nyota and Pike say really nice things about you. Not that I asked around…"

"It is quite well. Nyota speaks very highly of you. Not that I asked about you" Jim smiled, and Spock raised the corner of his mouth, ever so slightly.

"So, how do you like Riverside so far?"

"It is a very peaceful place, and I am not yet used to the quiet, growing up in New York" Jim flinched at the word ever so slightly, and it thankfully went unnoticed. As Nyota launched into a speech about school life, having been voted onto the student council and liked helping new students, Jim just stared at Spock. What planet was Nyota on, thinking this guy, who looked like a movie star, would ever take him on a date?

"Yeah, this place takes a bit of getting used to, what with the traitors and kidnappers and all"

"Ve did not kidnap you, ve vere only folloving orders" Pavel replied playfully, reclined on the sofa with Hiraku. Jim wished those two would just get together, the sexual tension was starting to annoy the blond. The pair were always smiling at each other, blushing and generally acting like school girls. It annoyed the blond because they could happily be together, and Jim didn't have that.

"I thought I was in charge. I'll have you demoted Uhura!" Spock raised an eyebrow, and Jim laughed. "I once had a dream we were all on this futuristic looking star ship, like in Star Wars, and I was Captain. I told these guys and once they stopped laughing, I gave them ranks"

"Sound interesting. What rank would I be?" Spock asked, with a small smile on his face.

"I need a new first officer"

"No fair! I was in line for that when Bones left" Nyota yelled, trying to pretend to act serious.

"Then you betrayed me" Spock laughed slight, making Jim giggle.

"Are you coming for coffee tonight?"

"I can't… I have therapy to go to…" Everyone's faces dropped slight.

"Are the nightmares back?" Hiraku asked softly, sitting up slightly. Jim nodded, shuffling uncomfortably under Spock's quizzical and confused glare. "Lets us know how it goes"

"Why are you all so interested in my mental health?"

"Because we love you and will always be here for you" Nyota whispered, wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck.

"Unless ya start sleep walkin again, I cannie be doin with ya punching us in the face again" Scotty interjected, looking up from the thing he was re-wiring. "Last time ya stay over ma house" Jim laughed, knowing Scotty didn't really mean it. But he would be cautious around Jim if he was sleeping.

"Anyway, lunch?" Everyone agreed and left the bridge, Spock lingering close to Jim.

Jim sat quietly in a very white room he had been in many times before, waiting to meet Spock's mother and have an awkward conversation. He'd been doing this for a couple of years, he knew the drill. She'd come in, say hi and ask how is day had gone.

How was he supposed to tell Spock's mother that he spent the entire afternoon wondering how Spock liked it in the bedroom? And he when he wasn't doing that, he was staring at Spock and his gorgeous arse, as well as making a plan to get Spock into his bed.

The door opening made him jump, and a very pretty woman smiled at him. Spock had her big brown eyes. _Stop thinking about Spock, _he yelled at himself, as the women, Mrs Grayson, walked over, sitting at the desk. She pushed back a strand of her long, brown hair before smiling at him.

"Hello, James. I'm Dr Amanda Grayson, you therapist until Claire returns from maternity leave" she said, so softly and warmly Jim could have melted. "I've read the important things on your file, but I'd like to get to know you from you, not what's written on a piece of paper"

"Umm… okay. I have lived in this town my whole life, I'm gay and I get crap for it but whatever. I live with my brother Sam, and my godfather Chris Pike looks after us whenever we need anything. I have a great group of friends, and most days I don't want to get out of bed and I like the colour yellow" Amanda smiled brightly.

"Now, it's my turn. I was born and raised in Canada, and met my husband, Sarek, in Africa, and we moved to New York where our son Spock was born. We moved here because I got this job and my husband felt the city was influencing Spock too much. You left a lasting impression on my son, as he kept asking me to tell me more about you, of course I told him no; patient doctor confidentiality and all" Amanda laugh as Jim's eyes widened and his eyebrow's flew up. "He seems to be very taken with you"

"What? Me?" Amanda nodded.

"Anyway, back to the matter in hand. How have you been? Have any episodes or nightmares occurring recently?"

"A few more nightmares, the last couple of nights anyway… I don't know why though" Amanda scribbled that down, before turning back to the blond. "I mean, it's been fine for the last couple of months, then a few days ago when Bones left…"

"It's Bones a close friend?"

"Yeah, my best friend, but he went to study medicine in Mississippi" Amanda nodded, noting that down.

"It's probably because you subconsciously think of him as protection, it's perfectly normal. And the depression how's that?"

"Been better, now that I'm working I have reason's to get out of bed, but when I get home I spend most of the time doing nothing, I don't have the energy to. I mean, I have my friends and all, but they are busy with family a lot, and have you ever felt lonely in the middle of a crowd?"

"I haven't personally, but hundreds of people go through how you feel every day. It will get better, I promise you" Jim looked down, messing with his bag strap. "Jim, are you taking the tablets prescribed to you?"

"Most of the time"

"You need to take them everyday"

"I know, I forget. And sometimes I try to be happy on my own, that maybe life won't be so shitty for once. But of course that doesn't happen… Though today wasn't so bad…" Amanda smiled, pushing her chair so she sat closer to Jim.

"You're a senior, right?" The blond nodded. "What are you going to do when you graduate? Go to college or get a full time job?" Jim just shrugged, with a sheepish look on his face. "You are a very intelligent man, Jim, I've seen your test scores and they are impressive. You could have a bright career in what every field you chose. Don't let how you feel now effect your future" Jim nodded slowly. "I'll give you some more tablets, okay? And if you ever feel low you give me a ring and we can have a chat. Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Can you be my therapist even when Claire comes back?" They both smiled, getting up from their seats.

"We'll see, how go home and get some rest; you look terrible, and take your tablets" She handed over a piece of paper, with her number and the next appointment time. "I'll see you next week"

"Or sooner, if I get my way with Spock" Amanda laughed. "I will see you next week, bye." And with that, Jim walked out, leaving with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry. this took quite a while and it very long. I was going to cut it but I was almost finished so I kept it as one. And I was having a bit of a writting block so... yeah. Enjoy!**

* * *

As the weeks went past, Spock became more and more part of the group, accompany them on their burger runs (even if he was a vegetarian that the group found out the awkward way), coffee breaks and study sessions. Jim had therapy with Amanda every Thursday, and although he still had episodes of depression where he'd hide in the corner of his room (or a room, it had happened at school twice) and want to cry, he was showing improvement, even if it was at a slow rate.

It was the beginning of November, and the frost had set in that morning, so Jim had got a lift in with Scotty; he didn't walk in the cold, he couldn't afford to get sick. Jim loved winter time; it was dark early, so he could sleep more, in his mind he could anyway, and he liked the misty mornings and the colours the sky turned at dusk and dawn. He also liked Christmas, and that was in winter.

When the pair got out the car, which had broken down twice due to the cold weather, they were met with a cup of coffee. Jim could have kissed Nyota who presented the coffee, but Scotty got there first, so maybe he'd kiss Spock instead, who looked like he needed a good cuddle; in a blue hat, with a matching big, thick scarf and fingerless gloves, as well as his usual black, parka coat, which he rocked. Jim was still madly in love with the man. And he had accidently friend-zoned himself by saying Spock was one of his best friends.

"Morning Spock" Jim said cheerily, a big grin on his face. Spock just nodded slightly in reply, his face buried in his scarf. "What's wrong? Don't like the cold?"

"I am not used to it. The heat radiating off the buildings in the city kept it warm" Spock replied, muffled slightly, burying his hands in his coat. Jim smiled sympathetically, before going to see why Nyota was staring at Hiraku and Pavel very intently, studying them as if they were her history homework; she had the same look on her face when she did homework. "May I enquire on what she is doing?"

"Her witchcraft" Spock raised an eyebrow in surprise and confusion, which Jim still found amusing. "She has this weird knack of knowing when people have had sex or are pregnant or have an SDI. As well as when they have failed a test, hiding a secret and, in my case, accidently pissed off half the town"

"And which of those categories do Pavel and Hiraku would fall in?"

"I'd guess the sex, I doubt pregnant one, though you never know with Pavel. He thinks everything was 'inwented in Russia' maybe they 'inwented' male pregnancy" Spock nodded slight, with a muffled chuckle, Jim could tell he was smiling in his eyes. "Come on, let's find out"

"I didn't touch him like that!" Hiraku yelled, cutting off Miss Uhura's speech on responsibility and that 'Pasha is only young, I expect this behaviour from Jim and not you, Hiraku'. Jim and Spock exchanged looks, Jim looking alarmed, before watching the action unfold. "I didn't do anything to him"

"So why does he have bite marks on his neck and bruises on his neck and" Nyota grabbed the edge of his shirt, pulling it up. "Marks on his hips?" Pavel blushed, pulling away from her grip. "Tell the truth Hiraku, you know I know you guys got it on"

"Do not blame Hiraku, I vas dee one vho lead him on. But ve did not hawe sex, Nyota… just gotz carried avay… Iz like him wery much Nyota. Ewer since I came to diz country" Pavel whispered, wrapping his arms around Hiraku's waist, pressing his head to the nape of the Japanese man. Jim smiled softly, before laughing at a very shocked women.

"My powers never fail me…" Nyota whispered, positively mortified. Scotty put an arm around her, as a way of comfort. Though he was unsure on how to reassure her that her mystical powers still worked?

"You should have more faith in me Nyota, I'm not Jim" Hiraku said, pulling Pasha closer.

"Stop using me as an example! Of course I go off and take children's virginity daily!" Jim yelled, with advanced sarcasm, debating throwing his coffee cup at them. "Honestly guys… "

"Sorry. But you have had a lot of boy and girlfriends Jim"

"You have?" Spock asked, making Jim raise an eyebrow. _Spock wasn't getting jealous, was he?_ He had anger flickering in his eyes. It was extinguished as quickly as it appeared and he smiled. "That is a terrible impression of me"

"Sorry, anyway, Pavel's been getting more action than I have over the last few months, so you don't have to lock your doors at night to keep me away. We have homeroom to get to" Jim sulked off, only for dramatic affect; he was the school's drama queen and all, but he was still pondering on a thought. _Spock had just got jealous about me having partners!_ Jim could have danced with joy. Or cry. Maybe even both!

One of the best and worst things about homeroom was Spock wasn't in the same one as Jim. It was good because then he could gossip with Nyota all about him, and worst that he couldn't stare at the man all day as he started next week's homework.

"Jim! Oh my god! Spock got jealous, he like likes you!" Nyota screamed, as they both had a little girly freak out (giggling and screaming). "Are you going to ask him out?"

"Maybe"

"Want me to try and get him to ask you out?"

"If you would please" Nyota smiled, giving him a huge hug.

"You lucky boy"

"Spock likes me" Jim whispered, with a small sigh. Things seemed, for the first time in 3 years, to be finally looking up.

"How are we going to do this? Oh, I have an idea, and we need to go shopping"

"Why?"

"You live in your school cloths and pj's. And when you aren't wearing them, you are wearing sloppy, old clothes that haven't been in style since 2002" Jim pouted like a lost puppy, making Nyota giggle. "You and I are going to have a little shopping spree, ready for the real shopping spree on Saturday" she covered his mouth, so she could continue without his protests. "I am going to get you some brand new clothes that will, and they will, make Spock drool over you"

"I'm not wearing a dress"

"No, just some skinny jeans or chino's, to show off that fine ass of yours, and maybe a nice checked shirt and a decent pair of shoes. And maybe some nice underwear in case Spock can't keep it in his pants. And you need a haircut" She ruffled Jim's thick blond hair, and he swatted her away, making her laugh.

"I can't afford all that. I get paid on Friday due to the mangers inability to pay any of us on time"

"I can though. No need to thank me, Spock is going to love it. More importantly, loves you"

"My life is turning into a teen movie. The poor, depressed boy eventually goes out with the cool, sexy nerd when he puts on a pair of skinny jeans"

"You love movies like that"

"Yeah I do. This should be very…. Fascinating" They both erupted into laughter.

The first Saturday of the month shopping trip to the mall was a tradition for the group. Normally they would met up, shop a little, go to Jim's house and try to pry him out of bed, then get lunch. It wasn't a very positive tradition, but it was fun.

Spock, Scotty, Hiraku and Pavel stood in the 'meeting spot', by the fountain by the entrance, waiting for the 'women of the group'. Of course, on Nyota's orders, they were running 20 minutes late (fashionable late), and it was starting to irritate the ever hungry Scotty.

"I swear she's doin' this on purpose. How was I supposed to know those biscuits were for orphans?" Scotty muttered, rubbing his belly. "I'm so hungry"

"You are always hungry" Hiraku replied, giving Scotty a playful shove. "We'll get you a burger when they appear. If they appear, Jim could have relapsed again"

"Burgers vere inwented in Moscow" Pavel said, making them all laugh. "It vas, my mama told me"

"Sure thing Pasha, whatever you say"

"Ah, finally they appear… that isn't Jim is it?" Scotty practically yelled, as Nyota and Jim walked through the door. Both of Spock eye brow rose, as he muttered.

"Whoa"

Spock just stared at him. When Jim wore his frumpy, too big uniform, it hid the most amazing body. He was thin, but not lanky as there was muscle there, not a lot but some. The grey skinny jeans showed off his long legs, as well as the neat package at the front, and his lovely behind very well. The blue checked shirt made him look like a farm hand, reminding Spock of a movie he was forced into watching with his mother, and ended up fancying the stable boy in the film.

His face had the biggest change of all. Jim wore a huge grin, as he laughed with Nyota, probably about the guy who had just stopped and stared at him, and if he did it again, Spock swore he was going to punch the guy and-

_Shit_, Spock thought. _I may be in love with James. _

"What happened to you!?" Hiraku yelled, once they arrived in front of them. Jim looked alarmed, unsure on what he was on about "Nyota, I think you should give up wanting to be a linguist and have one of those make-over shows. You look… good Jim"

"Uhh… thank you?" Jim replied eyebrow arched. It was weird receiving complements. "Nyota made me do it, she was, and I quote, 'sick of me looking like a 90's reject'" They all laughed. "Why did you guys let me dress like that for so long?!"

"We though' ya only dressed like that cos ya didn't have the money te buy new cloths"

"At least Nyota fixed it"

"Can we go! I'm starving and these guys are probably sick of me screaming like a new born babee, so can we go?"

"Of course we can, I just wanted you to marvel at my work. You're next mister" Nyota said, with a giggle, before entwining her fingers with Scotty, walking away whilst arguing over his tartan hat. "You are not keeping it!" Hiraku and Pavel followed suit, leaving Jim and Spock to linger in the back.

"What do you think of Nyota's make-over skills? I feel stupid" Jim whispered, so the women couldn't hear him and maim him.

"I think you look incredible" Spock breathed out, with a wide smile. Jim nearly fell over. Well, he tripped a little, but made it look normal. Spock laughed at him as he smoothed his hair back, trying to act as if it did not had happened, with a bright red blush on his face. "Careful"

"I'll try"

This was the group's first full length shopping trip together, and it was going according to plan. Nyota had even got a picture of Spock checking out Jim's ass, for evidence and/or blackmail; she could be a bitch at times. Scotty and Nyota fought of hats, trying a few on, giggling and taking photos, before being kicked out of the store itself.

Spock couldn't take his eyes of Jim, which kept a smile on the blonds face, and he repeatedly hugged Nyota for it, while Pavel was stuck talking to the entire staff of one store because it was mainly women working there and they all loved his accent and kept getting him to say different things. It wasn't until Hiraku decided to stop laughing and rescue his new boyfriend swopping in and planting a kiss on the Russian's lips that they finally let him go.

They day drew to an end, and they were all still in fits of laughter. Nyota had bought all the equipment needed to give Scotty a make-over, though they were still fighting over it. Pavel found a Russian cook book, so he could cook for everybody like his babushka used to, as well as several physics books, clothes and various other random things, while Hiraku had to carry it all.

"This has been great!" Jim said, as the group flocked towards the exit. "We should do this more often!"

"We do. You are normally being depressed in your bedroom" Hiraku said, putting an arm around Jim's shoulder, messing up his hair. "It's been good having you here though"

"Yeah, same time next month for Christmas shopping?" Nyota suggested, and everyone agreed. "Me and Scotty have to go"

"She snuck inta Victoria's secrets while you were playing on the games, gotta test them out" Scotty received a slap for that, but it was a playful one. They think anyway. "See you all on Monday" They exchanged hugs and the couple were on their way.

"Pavel and me have to go, we're going to watch the new Bond film"

"Alright, see you Monday guys" Jim said, as Spock waved them off. "So… have fun today?"

"Indeed, we have a very… colourful group of friends" They both laughed before standing in silence for a few moment, before Spock plucked up the courage to ask. "James, will you accompany me to dinner?"

Jim went wide eyed. All he think could think about was; _Spock is taking me on a date! Act cool. Don't look to egger, pretend to have something else to do. _

"I dunno, it's getting late and I have to get home and help Sam out with… moving stuff from the basement" Spock frowned.

"James, tomorrow is my 18th birthday, and as I will be spending the day with my parents, and I have already spent today with my friends, I am sure you can make an exception"

"Jeez Spock, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday!? I could have bought you something"

"You having dinner with me will be a gift enough. But I wouldn't say no if you bought dessert" Jim laughed, as the taller man smiled. "I know a lovely place down the road that does an excellent choice of vegetarian food"

Spock had taken Jim to Yem-tukh, which was one of the fanciest restaurants in the whole of Iowa! Jim reminded quiet as the waiter showed them to their table, and handed the menu, before looking around to see what type of people were there. They all looked at him, as they were in suits and flowing dresses and he rocked up in skinny jeans. Spock was wearing the same style, but didn't look like such a mess. They stared at him as if he was so tramp on the street.

"How did you get in to such a place?" Jim whispered, looking sheepish and out of place.

"It is my cousin's restaurant. Yem-tukh is food in Vulcan. He's never been particularly creative person" Jim giggled. As in, actually giggled like a girl and mentally kicked himself for it. "What would you like?"

"Water, for starters, it is boiling in here"

"Vulcan's live on a desert, as Skon needs to maintain a certain body temperature, of course it is hot"

"And you aren't roasting?"

"It is in my biology to not be phased by heat. You however are very hot"

"Are you hitting on me?"

"Maybe" Spock smiled behind his menu, pretending to study it while Jim blushed, fanning himself. "See anything you like?" If Spock was flirting, Jim was going to attempt it.

"I'm looking at it"

"You can't have that till afterwards" _Damn it, he's winning_, Jim thought, with a blush. The waiter came over, with drinks and asked if they were ready to order. Since Jim hadn't really been reading the menu, he just got the same as Spock, a salad with some exotic stuff in it. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Spock whispered "I have wanted to ask you on a date for 2.3 weeks. However I have lack the courage to do so, Vulcan's by nature, find it hard to express emotion"

"You laugh and smile all the time though. And that one time you got really pissed off, I thought you were going to murder someone" Spock smiled gently. "See, you smiled just then" _And what a beautiful smile you have. _

"They are easier emotions to show. Romantic feelings are not" Jim looked with a smile, picking at a bit of bread. "I apologize for taking so long"

"Did Nyota put you up to this?"

"She gave me a nudge" They both smiled, as their food was delivered.

"So, what was in this again?"

"Thanks. For dinner and all" Jim whispered, with a little awkward swag type thing, standing outside his front door. Jim lived in a large apartment block, filled with young, single parents and their screaming brats, druggies and alcoholics. It wasn't the flashiest place to live, but the rent was cheap and people left each other alone. "It was fun"

"Indeed it was" Spock replied, flashing a grin to him. "We should do it again, another time"

"What as 'it', by the way? Because it seemed like a date to me, and if it wasn't put it right now. Don't play about with me" Spock was surprised at the anger in Jim's voice and his eyes, before smiling reassuringly at the blond, and came to the conclusion this happened to the blond a lot.

"It was a date. And we should go on another one soon" Jim sighed with relief, before grinning slightly. "I must leave now. I will see you Monday?"

"Yeah" Spock leant down, pressing his lips to Jim's. It was a very chaste kiss, only lasting a few seconds, but Jim went into a light state of shock.

"Bye"

"Bye" Jim squeaked, making Spock chuckle. "I mean, bye" Spock walked away, a smug spring in his step as he went. Jim grinned. _Best. Day. Ever!_


	4. Chapter 4

"So, where is Spock taking you on your date this weekend? Because he couldn't decide between the aquarium and the cinema this morning" Amanda asked, as soon Jim stepped foot in her office. The blond went bright red, sitting down on the sofa. It had been 2 weeks since his last date with Spock, and since the weekend was his last weekend off until Christmas break, they were going to make the most of it. "I think the cinema is a little cliché, but it's a nice to just sit and watch a film together. Unless of course you are going for the other reason teenagers go, to sit and make-out in the back"

"Umm… I've never been to an aquarium…" Jim replied, as it was the only thing he could say. It was rather weird talking to your date's mother about making-out in the back of a movie theatre.

"Yes, he mentioned that. I have been told it's a beautiful place, and they have lots of interesting species of fish" Jim just nodded, while Amanda smiled. "You should come over for dinner soon"

"I don't know, I mean its early days, and you are my therapist and all"

"All you two can talk about is each other; I know because I have to listen to it. It is a lot more than a crush Jim, you and Spock both know that" Jim smiled at his hands, before throwing Amanda a sheepish, lop-sided grin. "You are always welcome. Now, back to the reason we are here, tea?" Jim laughed as she grabbed a mug for each of them, pouring the tea from the tea-pot. "Have you been experiencing anymore depression episodes? Have there been any more or less than our last session?"

"It's been about the same… but none in public. Just when I lock myself away in my room" Amanda scribbled that down, before handing Jim his tea. "Thanks"

"That's good, a bit of an improvement" Jim just sighed, looking very solemn as he drunk his tea. "Hopefully in a few more weeks things will turn around"

"It's hopeless; I'm never going to get any better…"

"Yes you will" Amanda replied, quite forcibly. "It will take time, but it is getting better. You can see that, can't you?" Jim mumbled a little, shuffling uncomfortably. Amanda sighed, before getting a brain wave. "What about Spock? How do you feel when you are with him?"

"Not… empty. Not lonely anymore… I always tried not to feel like that with my other friends, but I couldn't…" Jim smiled to himself, before continuing. "Then you guys came to town, and it got better. Spock is… an incredible guy… and you're like the mum I never got" Amanda looked at him, before standing up, walking over and giving him a hug. He hugged back, very tightly, and thought he was about to cry. "Thank you" he croaked out.

"You are most welcome" They stayed like that for a few moments, before Amanda pulled away. "I'd like you to be my son. One day"

"I'd like that too. Not any time soon though. Sorry"

"I know" They both grinned at each other, before Amanda returned to her desk. "So, is Saturday night alright for dinner?"

"It's great. I'd love to come"

* * *

Spock picked Jim up early Saturday, to get some coffee before they headed to the aquarium. Once they arrived, Jim was amazed by all the different colours and species of fish, and even pressed up against the glass like a little kid. Spock watched with a very soft smiled, chuckling as Jim ran around, pointing at things and saying 'Wow' every 5 seconds.

"Spock! Look at the turtles! Come on" Jim yelled, grabbing Spock by the hand. He pulled him to a glass dome, a pointed to a large sea turtle that swam graceful past. "I've always loved turtles, since I saw Finding Nemo anyway" Spock chuckled, looking down at their hands. "Oh… sorry" Jim went to pull away, but Spock grabbed it again, giving it a squeeze.

"I did not say I didn't enjoy it" he replied, in a very faint whisper in Jim's ear, before moving closer. Jim grinned at Spock, leaning closer. Then he saw a baby turtle and was off again. Spock shook his head, following him to the other side of the dome.

"Spock. I want a turtle. Can I have a turtle?"

"I believe it is illegal to keep such a species as a pet. However I saw a teddy-bear version of such a species in the gift shop" Jim looked up at him, all sparkly eyed a wide grinned. "I am able to get you one of those, if you'd like" Jim smiled, entwining their fingers together.

"I'd like that a lot. Whoa! Check out that shark! Come on" Once again, Spock was dragged off.

Spock opened his front door, holding it open and letting Jim in. The Grayson's house was HUGE! And all the walls, floors and furniture were very white. The living room was open plan, showing a very modern kitchen, and the entire place was decorated with artefacts and weapons, which must have been brought back or gifts from the Vulcans. Jim hugged his cuddly turtle to his chest as he walked around. And into Spock's father.

* * *

The man looked an older version of Spock; with grey hair and quizzical eyes, dressed in a probably very expensive suit. He stared down at Jim (being about 6ft) with no emotion at all. And Jim had absolutely, positively no idea what to say or do. The guy was probably wondering why there was a blond kid in his house, with a toy turtle, looking completely dumbstruck.

"Father, it is good to see home" Spock said, walking over. "This is James Kirk, Jim this is my father Sarek"

"Nice to meet you" Jim replied quietly, looking at his feet.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr Kirk, as my wife and son speak very highly of you" Sarek replied, still no emotion. Jim looked up, with a small smile "Spock, you mother will be home at 5:34, and I will need to work in piece, could you please retire to your room?"

"Of course Father" Spock took Jim's hand, leading him away.

"Why doesn't your dad show emotion?" Jim whispered, as the climbed the stairs

"Vulcan's do not show emotions, due to they have such strong emotions"

"So, when they're anger, it's like the incredible Hulk?"

"Worse I believe" Spock pushed open the door, walking into his room. It was a lot like the rest of the house, light and airy, with a large bed against the window and books littered everywhere, mostly around the desk in the corner of the room. It also had its own bathroom. "I apologize for the mess"

"This place is bigger than my living room" Jim explored again, before sitting on the edge of Spock's bed, bouncing slightly. "Springy"

"Yes. It comes in handy some days" Jim chuckled at him, as the taller man walked over, pulling him up. He held Jim by his upper arms, rubbing them gently. "I believe my mother may be correct" Jim raised an eyebrow. "Your impressions have not improved since the last time you attempted it. But she mentioned that we may be, emotionally ahead in the relationship. Regardless of the fact it has only been 2 weeks"

"Yeah, she said that to me too. I guess it was because I fancied you from the moment I saw you, but was too scared to do anything until Nyota made me"

"Indeed. I too felt the same" Spock pulled the other man closer, drawing circles on his back with his thumb. "What do you suppose we do for the next 30 minutes?" Jim smiled, pulling Spock down to meet his lips. "This is satisfactory"

"Shh… no talking" The older man lifted Jim up, before kneeling on the bed and gently laying Jim down, his head just touching the pillows. "Now, let's continue" Jim leant up, kissing him softly. Spock licked the blonde's bottom lip, but it seemed Jim wanted to play the tease. Spock ran a hand down the younger man's side, before stroking his thigh, brushing against his member gently, making his gasp and Spock got to explore somewhere new for a change. Jim let his head fall back when Spock resurfaced for air, as the black haired man nipped down his neck, before paying special attention to the spot that made Jim gasp the loudest. "You are very good at this"

"I want you to feel nothing but pleasure" Jim chuckled, before reclaiming Spock's lips, kissing passionately, lacing his fingers in Spock's silky soft hair. He then decided this was his chance, and licked Spock's left ear, watching as Spock shuddered and moaned. When he looked down, he saw a very pleased looking Jim. "Enjoy that?"

"I have wanted to do that for ages. Anyway" Jim pressed kisses to Spock's jawline, tugging at his shirt. "We're overdressed"

"I do not believe we have time for that"

"Just a quickie"

"Jim. I already find it hard to resist anything you ask of me; I have spent almost $200 on you in the last month alone, but my mother's car just pulled in and I do not believe it to be wise to engage in intercourse with my parents in the house. Given my fathers inability to knock"

"Wow, really? You've spent $200 on me?"

"Indeed. Dinner was expensive" Jim smiled, as Spock placed a small kiss on his forehead, before sitting up. "Do you like tofu?"

"Never had it"

"We are having it for dinner. Come on" He took Jim by the hand, leading him and Tyler the turtle to the dinner table.


	5. Chapter 5

**This took a long time! Running out of ideas! :L**

**And I forgot a Disclaimer...**

**I own nothing! Enjoy :)**

* * *

As each day went passed, Jim and Spock grew closer (if that was possible, they were pretty much joined at the mouth 24/7) and more comfortable as a couple, Jim's mental health improved massively, though he still attended therapy ever week, mainly because he liked chatting with Amanda and she didn't have any other patients on a Thursday. She was like a mother to him; considering he didn't believe he had one anymore. It was a horrible thing to say, but Winona had turned her back on him and Sam, and pretended they didn't exists, so they were going to do the same.

Christmas came around quickly, and Spock, as per normal, dotted over his boyfriend, buying him whatever he wanted. So Jim felt very embarrassed to give him just a jumper, which he had made himself on one of his 'I'm too lazy to do anything today' days. But when Spock wore it for an entire day (after a long debate on which hole was the neck hole) Jim knew he loved the man.

On New Year, Spock was there to hold Jim's hand, kissing him softly on the first second of the New Year. He also whispered 'I love you' as the fireworks went off, Jim could have cried, before hugging him extremely tightly, yelling how much he loved him too.

Then came Sunday 15th of January, A.K.A Jim Kirk's 18th birthday. And he was going to spend it eating cake and sleeping. However, Sam decided to wake him at 9am but jumping on him. The Kirk brothers were very similar in looks and personality, though Sam had brown hair and looked older. However, he did not act it.

"Wake up Jimmy boy! It's your birthday!" Sam yelled, timing a word with a bounce. Jim groaned, rolling over and hiding his face. "Fine, I'll tell Bones to go home"

"BONES IS HERE!?" Jim yelled, before racing out of bed and into the living room. He grinned at the brunette stood in the middle of the room, who beamed back. "BONES!"

"Heya Kiddo, happy birthday" Bones replied, giving the birthday boy a huge. "Your presents in the car, and when do I get to meet this boyfriend of yours" One thing Jim loved about Bones; he was like a second brother, but him and Sam liked to gang up on boyfriends.

"Don't, and I repeat do not, scare him off because I love Spock and"

"Who names a kid Spock? If Jenny has a boy that is defiantly off the list"

"Who's Jenny?"

"My wife"

"YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A CHILD YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?"

"Sorry, it was a bit of a rush job at the town hall. She got pregnant so I did the honourable thing and married her"

"You said when you get married I could be the flower boy… Can I be Godfather? I and Spock can be the gay uncles!" Bones laughed, so much he actually had to sit down.

"I will speak with Jen and let you know. Here, I'll so ya a pic" He whipped out his phone, and showed Jim a picture of himself and a beaming red-haired, very pretty women. "Ain't she purty?"

"Yeah she is, I'm happy for you man" The telephone interrupted their bro moment, and Jim knew exactly who it was, whizzing to the phone. He almost dropped it, before pressing it to his ear. "Hey"

"Hey gorgeous, Happy Birthday" Spock replied, in a very deep voice Jim really hoped he used in the bedroom. Which was an activity on Jim's 'it's my birthday so do it' list. "I have a small situation and I need your help"

"Sure honey, what is it?"

"I need you to pretend we are married as my fiancé is here" Jim let the news sink in for a few moment, before going red with anger and jealousy.

"YOUR WHAT!?"

"Please allow me to clarify"

"Oh you better"

"Vulcan's arrange marriages for their children, and when I was 7 I was chosen to marry T'Pring. However, when I came out as gay, my father ended the betrothal. No Vulcan wishes to marry T'Pring now, as she is a slut, and they blame myself and want us to marry again. My mother panicked and said we were married, and I agreed"

"Wow, you Vulcan's are messed up. Fine, I will, but you owe me big time"

"Thank you Jim, your brother and all you friends may accompany you, as Vulcan are less likely to, as you would say, lose their cool in public, and we have told them we are having a birthday party for you. It was supposed to be a surprise, but never mind. I will see you in an hour, I will text more details and everyone else is aware of this"

"Yeah, see you in a bit. And you are getting a proper ass whipping"

"I'd like that very much" Jim could feel a nose bleed coming on as Spock hung up.

"Is everything alright?" Sam asked, leaning against the door frame. Bones could be seen just behind, looking concerned for Jim. "Hello, earth to Captain Kirk. Do you read me? What was all the yelling about?"

"I have to pretend to be married to Spock, and I think I just permission to spank Spock…" Both men looked alarmed, and even more when Jim actually grinned and rushed to get ready.

* * *

"Hello Jim, this must be Sam… and you are?" Amanda asked when she opened the door. Bones stepped forward, hand exchanged.

"Leonard McCoy, ma'am, Jim's best friend and I'm normally known as Bones" he said, making Amanda smile, before allowing them in. Never before in Sam's life had he seen Jim stomp with so much determination. "He's slightly pissed off" Jim charged over to his boyfriend/ fake husband, folding his arms. The other people in the room stared at him, and he glared at everyone, especially the young women in the corner. The woman was beautiful, as in super-model/actress beautiful, and all Jim could think about was 'Why did he turn her down again?' Jim was actually terrified that this as all a way for the Vulcans to embarrass him and Spock was about to marry her instead.

"When we got married, didn't you think that was a good time to mention you had a fiancée?" Jim asked, trying to sound convincing, making Spock grin slightly.

"I apologize for this, but I was unaware our engagement was still about at the time of our marriage" Jim sighed, as Spock held his hand, pressing his other to the side of Jim's face. "We are trying to fix it, T'hy'la, I apologize for all this happening on your birthday"

"It's fine, it's just not the way I expected us to be celebrating my birthday. But when this is sorted" He lifted his hands, brushing some fluff off of Spock shoulders, before cupping his face. "You owe me big time" Spock pressed a kiss to the blond forehead, before turning to the other guests.

"Is that enough evidence for you to make a logical assumption" Sarek asked, over a cup of tea. "Because if it is not, you have lost all logic"

"Why would someone as logical as Spock chose a partner as… illogical as this man?" T'Pring asked, looking at her nails. Jim could have punched her, if she wasn't a girl and he wasn't afraid of being beaten up by the girl's father. "I mean, our bond has been in place longer than you have with this man, logically it means I have more right than he does, as Vulcan law dictates"

"I do not act by Vulcan law, as I am half-human and I have decided to still act by Vulcan logic but live by human law"

"Does anyone else think the word logic was used far too much in that conversation?" Sam asked, getting nods of agreement from the 'humans' in the room. T'Pring stood up, glaring at him, before focusing her attention to the younger Kirk.

"Look at him, for one he is male and is not able to carry an heir for you Spock. I will be a good wife, you know that" She walked closer, pouting

"You have lost all logic T'Pring"

"There it is again" Sam muttered, getting a kick from Jim. "What, the word is starting to sound weird"

"It his is a stupid as his brother, I think you have lost all reason" T'Pring muttered.

"I will not divorce James because you are upset that you have be rejected by every other Vulcan male due to you reputation of spreading your legs for every male who shows a slight interest in you. I plan to spend my life with this man, because I love him very much. If you cannot see this then you are blind and illogical" Spock practically yelled, causing an awkward silence in the room. Spock had a tight grip on Jim, due to the uncontrollable anger, and Jim decided it was best to stir him into the kitchen, followed by Sam and Bones who didn't want to be in the middle of a Vulcan argument. Spock walked around a little bit, muttering what must have been the Vulcan language, before sitting at the table.

"Do you want some tea sweetie?" Jim asked very softly, receiving a nod from Spock, who was still muttering in Vulcan-language. "It will be two minutes"

"This is the best way to meet ya boyfriend Jimmy" Bones said, with a grin, before being glared to death by very pissed off Spock, before being glared at by Jim. "Perfect couple…"

"Bones, behave please?"

"I am behaving. I am just stating a fact. I think you are lovely together" Jim just rolled his eyes, placing the cup of tea in front of Spock before he hit the Southern. "I hope that bitch gets the message or I think someone will have to write it down for her"

"Or we could just kick them out?" Sam suggested. "Wouldn't that be easier and doesn't involve a very anger troop of Vulcan's coming down on us like a ton of bricks. They are not nice people when they're angry"

"And since when were you an expert on Vulcans?" Jim asked, sitting next the Spock, rubbing the man's shoulder.

"Since I saw him get really anger and it scared the crap out of me. I approve of him, as long as he doesn't turn his anger on you"

"And why would I do that!?" Spock spat, making Sam jump out of his skin. "I apologize. You must understand my frustration"

"It's fine dude"

"Sam, make yourself useful and… sit in the garden. Or go next door and get Nyota" Sam jumped up, saluting before marching off, making the Jim laugh. His brother meant well and was just trying to lighten the mood, though he had an idiotic way of doing so. "I swear dad dropped him one too many times"

"I swear you've kicked him in the head one too many times. I remember your fights at school" Bones added, sniffing the tea in the tea-pot before pulling a face, putting it down. "Have you got any coffee?"

"In the coffee holder; cups are in the cupboard above the kettle" Spock replied, as he stood up, straightening his clothes. "If you'd excuse me, I would like to see if the arguing has cessed so we can celebrate your birthday in peace" With a kiss on the cheek for Jim, Spock disappeared, yelling in Vulcan at their 'guests'.

"What's got him so angry?" Nyota asked, from the back door.

"Ex-girlfriend showed up" Bones replied, before realising he shouldn't have. Then, he was attacked by Nyota with hugs and defining screams. "Calm down women! I haven't been gone long!"

"It's been ages! And I've missed you so much!" she screamed, hugging him with enough force to pop his head clean off his shoulders.

"I missed you too! Can we please stop yelling now!? And can you let go of me!?" Nyota did all three, an apologetic smile on her face. "Are you and Scotty still going?"

"Yeah we are, stronger than ever. What's new in your love life?"

"I'm married and my wife is expecting a baby"

"Bloody hell! Got you nuts in fast didn't ya?" Scotty said from the door, carrying a box. "Still, good to see ya. And Happy birthday Jim, where's Spock?"

"Fighting with the parents of his fiancée about me and him being married and that's why he and her can't get married. Can I open my gift now?" Jim replied, bouncing up and down like a hyper child. Nyota and Scotty just stared at him, as if he were insane. "Yeah, that sounded insane to me as well"

"It's been a strange morning" Sam added, peeking out to the living room. "I think they're swearing at each other now. What time are Pavel and Hiraku getting here, because one of us should go out front and get them?"

"Hiraku text me saying they were going to be late"

"Translation, Pavel jumped him"

"It's his own fault for dating someone a year younger, he's come out of the 'horny all the time' phase of 16, while Pavel's just going into it"

"Speaking of sex, you and Spock aren't doing it, right?" Sam asked, folding his arms.

"Not yet, and we'll be good and safe, don't give me the talk again. That was embarrassing. You put on a porno when I was 12, and when I told you I was gay, you put on a gay porno"

"You learnt, did you?" Jim had to agree with him there, with a side-wards nod. "I'll go look out front and look for them. Because there are angry Vulcan's heading this way!" He vanished out of the backdoor, as Spock and his parents came into the living room, both males muttering in Vulcan.

"I'll make more tea" Jim muttered, going over to wash some cups.

"Sarek, please control your temper. They are being stubborn and if we stay calm and, well Vulcan like and they will give in" Amanda said, a small amount of fear in her voice. "Spock, don't hit Sruk again, even if he insults Jim again" Everyone else in the room giggled at the look on Jim's face; debating whether to be insulted or proud of his boyfriend. "Hello Nyota, Scotty very nice to see you"

"Nice to see you too Mrs Grayson, Jim and Sam sort of explained the situation" Nyota replied, leaning against the bench. "Is there some way of convincing them?"

"We have tried and they will not listen. And T'Pring has been saying very colourful things about Jim…"

"Right, I think I will sort this out" Jim said, wiping his hands on his trousers. "I'll just kick them out, Spock, Bones and Scotty, be my back-up?" They nodded, and followed Jim into the living room. "I'd like you to get out of my home please"

"Sending the human to fight his battles" T'Pring muttered, sitting further back in her seat.

"Ok, that was asking now I'm telling. Get the fuck out of my house before escort you out, or phone the police"

"It should be us who should be phoning the authorities, as my assaulted my father!" Jim marched over, lifted T'Pring by the arm, lifted her to her feet and headed for the door. "Let go of me, you stupid human. I will not be treated with such little respect"

"You mess with my husband, you don't deserve respect. Bye-bye" and with that said, he practically threw her out of the door. "You too, bye-bye I didn't get your name" He stood by the door, arms folded as the elder Vulcan followed his daughter, before slamming the door of extra effect. "I've always wanted to do that" Spock smiled, kissing Jim.

"Well done" Spock said, with a wide grinned. "Anyway, presents?" Jim was jumping again.

From Bones, he got a whack on the head, and some books about astrophysics and constellations, Jim's secret love. From Nyota and Scotty, they got him a television for his room, because Scotty couldn't understand how he lived without one, and some of his favourite DVD's. From Spock, he got another cuddly turtle, which made him laugh and he named her Tina and her and Tyler were next to get married, and a small whisper with the promise of something much later. Chris got him an iPhone, and Amanda and Sarek got him $50 for an ITunes. When Pavel and Hiraku finally showed up, Pavel got him Matryoshka doll, hand-made with each doll as one of the group, and Hiraku gave him more DVD's, X-box games and $20, stating he didn't know what to get him.

"Sam, did you forget your own brother's birthday gift?" Jim asked, once Spock had explained how to charge his new phone.

"No, I've been keeping it here. If you'd follow me please" Sam said, leading the way to the garage. "Spock, cover his eyes please" Spock did as he was told, and Jim just got more excited. He could hear rustling, and then a chorus of 'oh wow!' "Okay, open!" Sam was holding a motorbike. A very rusty, broken motorbike, but it was a motorbike all the same. "Scotty has agreed to help you fix it up, as has Spock. Which means they'll be doing all the work while you and the lovely Nyota ogle there bottoms" Jim hugged him as hard as he could, as he said Thank you over a million times.

"You are, without a doubt, the best brother in the whole entire world and I love you to pieces"

"I know. But I gotta get going, working the afternoon/ night shift" Ruffing up Jim's hair, and putting the bike back. "I will see you tomorrow" He hugged Jim again, before holding him at arm's length. "Be good, be safe and I do not want to hear about how my little brother was defiled, got it?"

"Got it, and once again, I love you"

"I love you too, remember to save me some cake" Sam skipped off, making a Jim laugh. "EAT MY CAKE AND FEAR MY RATH BROTHER!" Jim laughed, as Sam drove off.

"Anyway, cake?"

* * *

"Bye, and thank you, again for the great gift" Jim said, hugging Pavel

"You are velcome" The Russian replied, hugging back. "I vill see you tomorrow" Jim nodded, before hugging Hiraku.

"Be good, don't hurt yourself" Hiraku muttered, making Jim laugh and blush.

"Tell Spock that" They all laughed, as Jim let the couple out. "Drive safe"

"We've gotta get going too, Bones needs to be at the airport and I need to get home" Scotty said, patting Jim on the back. "Look forward to building that bike"

"Yeah same" Bones came over and gave Jim a huge hug. "When the baby comes, let me know and I will be on the first plane to come visit. I promise you"

"Will do and be good tonight. I approve of him" Bones replied, quietly. "I've added ma new number into your phone, so if anything happens, you can phone me. Gunna miss ya but we'll all be up in the summer"

"Tell Jenny I think she's beautiful and I'm happy for you" Giving him another hug, then one for Nyota before letting the three of them out and waving until they were out. "So…" Jim said, quietly to Spock.

"I made you a promise, and I intend to fulfil that promise. My parents have gone to a hotel for the night" Spock replied, taking Jim's hand gently in his, leading him up the stairs. "I am surprised you are not bringing Tina up"

"She's far too young to see this" Spock chuckled.

"You are illogical. And I love you for it" When they reached the top, Spock kissed Jim with passion at a slow pace, backing him into his bedroom, locking the door behind him.

* * *

Jim awoke to birds singing and the sun leaking out of the curtains. And a very warm Vulcan wrapped around him. Lovely, sweet memories of last night flooded in to Jim's memory, making him grin like the Cheshire cat, as he kissed Spock's face to wake him up.

"Good morning sexy" he whispered, as Spock's eyes snapped open. "How did you sleep?"

"Well, thank you" Spock replied, before just smiling very softly at Jim, caressing his hair. "You honestly look beautiful at the moment" Jim smiled back, leaning down and kissing his lover. "I wish we were able to stay like this all day"

"We could…"

"No, we have a math test"

"So we'll skip it"

"It will affect your grades"

"I'll make it up"

"I purpose a deal; go to school, come back here and you can bounce in my lap to your heart's content" Jim pondered on it, before sighing in defeat. Spock smiled, holding Jim's chin. "I mean well. Go take a shower"

"Can we go together?"

"No, I will be downstairs making breakfast" Spock got up, pulling on a pair of boxers. "Go"

"Mmm, I love it when you dominate" Jim moaned, as he stood up. "But very well, I will let you watch me go" Jim walked away with a lot of swag, feeling Spock's eyes watch his ass.

Once at school, and being questioned by Nyota about 'the night before', everything was going well. He scored 100% in his history test from last week, knew all the answers on his math test and Mrs Old-Bat, his physics teacher who hated him, was off sick! First a night of sex and now a great morning, WIN!

Then Pike appeared at the door of his biology class, asking for him and looking very upset. Jim walked over, with his bag just in case, getting a 'tell us everything' look from Spock and Nyota. When they got outside, Pike held Jim at arm's length, and broke the news.

"Sam was in a car accident last night. On his way back from work, some drunk driver went straight into the side of him…. I'm so sorry Jim, but he died early this morning"

* * *

**Sorry... I was running out of plot lines and it broke my heart to do this! I'm sorry... again**


	6. Chapter 6

Jim whole world froze. Then it shattered. He just stared at Pike, who was explaining something, but everything had muted; everything around him had gone into slow motion. Sam, his big brother who used to carry him on his back to and from school, was dead. The man who just yesterday, had been laughing about and making jokes was gone and nothing could bring him back. He couldn't breathe for a moment; he couldn't remember how to breathe. He couldn't remember how to move, how to show emotion or speak. He just stood still, not breathing, until reality set in.

"Jim? Jim if you want, I can take you back to mine, I don't think you'll want to be at yours. Lisa is there, and has kitted out a room for you" Chris said slowly, giving Jim a little shack to get his attention.

"When… I want to see him…" Jim whispered. "I want to see him and I want to find out who did this and I want him to feel the pain I'm in right now and… and I want my big brother" Jim collapsed to his knees, letting the tears fall. Students coming out of lessons for lunch just stared, before being shooed off by Pike, who was trying his hardest not to cry. Spock and Nyota were over in seconds, asking what was wrong.

"Sam's passed away" Chris explained quietly, and Nyota burst into tears. "We should move this to somewhere more private. Come on Jim" Jim refused to move; every time Spock or Chris lifted his arm, he snatched it away or just fell down again. "James, you can't sit here all day" Spock decided it was best to just pick Jim up like a bride, who curled into him, hiding his face in Spock's shoulder, his arms tightly around Spock's neck.

"We can go to the common room, which is where the others will be" Spock said smoothly, leading the way.

Chris broke the news to the others, and though Pavel tried to be strong for Jim, seeing the man cry just set him off as well, and he curled next to Hiraku. As the comforted each other, Jim just stared out of the window, staring at the lake he could just see in the distance. He remembered that Sam and him would spend every summer there as kids, fishing and swimming.

"Jim, my mother is on her way to speak with you, if that is alright" Spock whispered, holding him close from behind. "I am so sorry…" Jim just hugged back, fighting off tears. "Are you staying with Mr Pike and his wife?"

"Yeah… too many memories at mine… I'll have to sell it. It will pay for the funeral… I'll have to speak to Winona. Though I doubt she'll even talk to me. And I think she's on holiday, like always" Jim muttered, before pulling away. "I wish this was a dream"

"We all do, my love. It was a very tragic" At that moment, Amanda flooded in, taking Jim in her arms, making the blond burst into tears and loud sobs. "I will leave you be for a moment" Spock whispered, kissing the top of Jim's head, and hugging his mother, before relieving Scotty of hugging Nyota duty before he pissed himself.

"Oh Jim, breathe deeply, and calm down" she whispered. Jim tried, but the grief just gave way to the anger that had been swelling in the bottom of his stomach. He was angry that this had happened to his brother. He was angry at whoever had done this. And, for some reason, angry at himself for not making Sam stay and for not being the one who died.

"I can't… I can't calm down. My brother is dead! My brother is dead and it is my fault!" Jim called, pulling away and backing up so he was against the window. "You people don't understand what it's like to lose the one person in your blood family who cares about you! It's my fault he's dead, it's my fault"

"Jim, this can't possibly be your fault; it was an accident and the man has pleaded guilty to death by drunken driving. All you have to do now is grieve and then move on"

"How can I move on? I should have been the next Kirk to die! Everybody loved Sam; he got perfect grades, was Captain of the football team while he was here and helped out around the town. Me, I'm just the useless faggot trouble maker who no-body likes and I'm a whore. You are dating a whore Spock, because when Sam and I started living on our own I used to ask for sex, bring back all the cute bi-curious football players and bend over for money. And when Sam found out…" Jim stopped, his voice cracking, before composing himself. "When Sam found out he just held me, and promised me he would always be there to look after me. And now he's dead and I don't know what to do with my life anymore! I don't want to be here anymore… I want my brother back. I want to be with my brother"

"James, you don't mean that"

"You've seen my file, **Doctor**! You know how many times Sam had to drive me to Chris's because he was shit scared I was going to kill myself and didn't know what to do. Now I don't know what to do anymore, everything was going so well then this happened and now I want to curl up and die. I want to die, because maybe that would stop the pain"

"Would Sam want you to do that?" Spock asked, directing everyone's attention to him. His face shone from the tears no-body had noticed, before he stood up. "You said he was shit scared about you killing yourself, would he be happy if you did it now he is gone? Would it heal out pain; Nyota and Hiraku have known Sam since they were 3, would it help them? Would losing you make me feel better? Losing the most important person in my life, no offence mother"

"You don't know how I feel, you have a loving family"

"I love you and the thought of losing you terrifies me. And I don't think I could live without you, which is the closest feeling I can relate to the situation. Look around James, everyone in this room knew Sam well, not as well as you of course, and we are all feeling your pain. Let us grieve with you, we are your family, we will always be there for each other. Let us help"

"Beautifully put Spock" Amanda said, with a wide smile. Jim stood still for a moment, before running over and falling into Spock's open arms, before kissing the older man's cheek, apologizing. Spock just hushed him, smiling at his mother. "You could be a great therapist"

"I will leave that to you, mother"

* * *

The group spent the rest of the day huddled in the room, crying and comforting each other, before moving it to Chris's house. Amanda and Sarek came over, having been very generous and picked up night ware and fresh clothes for tomorrow, as they had all been given the day off, before having tea with Chris and his wife. The group, on Amanda's suggestion, chatted about their fondest memories of Sam, making them all feel a little better.

When Jim returned to school 2 days later, the news report had already aired and he got sympathetic looks from everyone, and flowers and cards were left at the scene, which made Jim cry and smile. Jim tried phoning Winona every day, text her and e-mail her, but he knew she wouldn't reply, so stopped trying.

Then the funeral came around. Half the town turned out to say goodbye, something Jim was very thankful for, and couldn't stress enough in his speech. Chris spoke with a smile on his face, talking about Sam when he was younger, and Spock, who stood with Jim, promised Sam he'd look after Jim and protect him with his life, getting an 'Aw' from the funeral goers and tears from Jim. Hiraku and Pavel said a few words, Pavel mostly about Sam teaching him English and Nyota sang a beautiful hymn and Scotty played the bagpipes. Jim, Spock, Chris, Scotty, Hiraku and not so much Pavel (due to his size) carried the coffin, and stood by the grave long after everyone had left.

Almost a fortnight later, when Spock, Jim and Scotty decided to honour Sam's memory by fixing up Jim's bike, Nyota came rushing around, obviously back from a shopping trip with her girlfriends, though she didn't have many left due to leaving the cheerleading squad after a comment about Sam 'having it coming, as he accepted Jim as gay and gayness was wrong'.

"Jim… I just saw your mom, and I don't think she knows yet…"she said, regaining her breath. That anger bubbled up inside of the blond again, as he cleaned off his oily hands. "What are you doing?"

"Going over there to tell her what a terrible mother is and that I hope she and Frank burn in hell" Jim replied, before racing off. He could hear his friends calling after him, but he was on a mission. He had a speech planned and everything, and he wasn't going to cry. Well, that was the plan anyway. He kept the news clipping of the report in his jean pocket, carrying it around in preparation for this day.

When he arrived at his mother's house, they had just pulled in, and he received death glares from the couple.

"What do you want James?" Winona asked, as Frank opened the front door. "And if you don't have anything nice to say, please leave"

"You know Sam's dead, right? Oh wait, you were off on holiday when it happened!" Jim yelled walking up the drive. Winona just looked at him, as if he were pulling her leg. "Here's the report, and the funeral was great. We buried him on the top of the hill in the cemetery, looking over the lake, next to Dad" He threw the report at her. "I called and I called but you didn't answer because you don't care. You don't care about me and you didn't care about Sam. You just wanted to keep Frank happy, the man who beat us and locked us away, and then you didn't want me when I came back because it would tarnish your perfect image of a lovely housewife, with a mental son who likes taking it up the rear!"

"I never thought that Jimmy" she whispered, tears in her eyes. "I don't think about you like that, I just couldn't cope at that time…"

"Save it. All we ever did was try to make you happy, getting good grades and keeping the house clean for you. I did all I could to get your attention, wrecking Frank's car, shop-lifting, everything! And when I came back, and I cried for you! I want my mom to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay but you never came! You hide away from me and Sam had to be the adult! That's why I'm still in therapy because of YOU! This is all because of you, Mother, and I hope you are happy! I'm depressed and scared all the time! I'm scared I won't be able to make it through the day; I'm scared people will laugh at me for being 'wrong and sick'! Isn't that how Frank put it, and you just nodded! Most of all, I am petrified that this won't sink in and you won't do anything! You won't put it right and I know that you won't, because you won't! I know you love him and you want to keep him happy, I know how that feels because I'm in love with my best friend and he loves me and I know he hates seeing me like this, and Frank hates to see you upset, and tried to fix it but he didn't do it right and you need to see that"

"Jimmy I-"

"Don't. Please just don't. I've said what I wanted and now I'm going now" Jim ran away before Winona could say anything more, running straight into Spock. He hugged the half-Vulcan, repeatedly saying 'Take me home. Take me home', his face buried in Spock's neck. "I want to go home"

"We need to return to mine, pack the bike away and I will have to drive you to Chris's house. And Chris called saying there was an offer on the flat"

"Take me home. Can you carry me? Like a piggy back?" Spock smiled, hoisting Jim up, before walking home.

* * *

Jim didn't go to school the next day. Or the day after. He didn't turn up for the rest of the week. Spock dropped off his notes, only to find Jim curled up in bed, refusing to talk to anyone. Spock sat with him, some days for hours, talking to him, holding his hand and kissing his cheek, constantly reminding him that he loved him, and it was going to be better. Amanda even came over with Spock on afternoon to talk to the blond, but he refused to move or say a word.

And it was killing Spock.

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, Nyota and Pavel pushed Spock into sorting it out once and for all, due to Jim completely cutting himself off from the group on the few days he actually came to school. Spock knocked on the door, and Lisa answered, making small talk with her before going up to Jim's room. To find the blond sat up right, wrist covered in blood. Without saying a word, Spock rushed off to get a towel, pressing it against the blonde's wrist.

"What were you thinking? Doing this to you" Spock snapped, applying more pressure to the wound. "Did you think this is going to make things better, did you think this would make the pain stop? Why must you act so illogically all the time?"

"It was an accident!" Jim replied, snatching his wrist away. "I didn't mean to…"

"Explain this then" Spock held up the small, blood stain knife, anger controlling his normally smooth features. "Don't lie to me"

"I… was going to… but I stopped and it was an accident and"

"Stop lying to me!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"You need to be yelled at! Everybody is too frightened to tell you what they think, but we want you back! We are sick of you behaving like a child and being an idiot, not accepting our help when we are all still shock from Sam's death, it is not just you! Stop being selfish and look at the pain you are causing me, your friends and family!" Jim stared at Spock, looking completely shocked and a little hurt. Spock got up, facing away as he took deep breaths to compose himself, before turning back to a still shocked Jim. "I'm sorry"

"Thank you"

"I'm sorry? What?"

"Thank you…can you get me a bandage before we continue?" Spock compelled and they sat in silence as Spock wrapped Jim's arm. "I love you…"

"I love you too. That's why I yelled at you"

"I know. And I'm really sorry. I'll go talk to your mom about getting more therapy sessions and more help and I promise to get my grades back up an" He was stopped by Spock pressing his lips to Jim's before smiling. Jim curled up close to him.

"I know"


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the wait! Enjoy!**

* * *

Jim sat upon Spock's lap, kissing down his neck as Spock tried to read. He occasionally grinded his hips against Spock, moving the older man's book away every time he grabbed it. It was mid-April, and because of Jim's condition, the couple had to skip Valentine's Day, postponing it to when Jim felt better. Jim had also returned to school and got his grades up, like he promised and there had been no suicide talk or self-harm since the incident. Jim sold the flat with pretty much everything still in it, and was living with Chris most days, but stayed at the Grayson's a few nights a week.

"James… James not now I am very busy" Spock replied, trying to push the blond away, who kept retuning for more kisses. Spock kissed back a few times, as he was trying to satisfy him enough to continue with his work.

"Play with me. I'm bored" Jim replied, straight into Spock's ear. "I'm all better now, and you need rewarding for being such a great doctor and boyfriend. Plus you have been studying for a long, long time, you need a break babe. We haven't done it properly since my birthday. Now's a good time to get back into the habit, come on take me to bed"

"James. I am busy; we both have important exams approaching. My answer is no" Jim pouted, before climbing off Spock and sulking at the other end of the sofa. "Don't sulk, it is not a good look for you" Jim made a little noise of annoyance, turning so his back was facing his boyfriend. "I promise once I am finished, you will have my undivided attention"

"Forget it. I'm upset with you. I'm going on a formal protest"

"Denied"

"Informal protest"

"Denied" Jim looked over his shoulder, smiling sheepishly at Spock, as they chuckled slightly. "We spend too many evening's watching 'The Big Bang Theory'" Spock put the book down, sliding closer to the blond. "I can take a break now"

"Still no"

"Why do you have do you have to be so stubborn all the time?" Spock pulled Jim back on to his lap, turning Jim's head back to his when Jim looked away. "Jim. James, I need a break babe"

"You do terrible impressions of me" Spock nuzzled against him, kissing Jim's face very gently. He licked his neck, making the blond shiver. "We're not doing it just because you want to, I don't want to anymore, so no"

"I can make you want to" Jim shivered at the lust in his voice, as Spock ran his hands up Jim's body, before running his fingers in the blond locks. Jim needed a haircut, but Spock liked to run his hands through his thick locks, curling it around his fingers. He do this while Jim slept by his side most night, as Jim was a blanket hog and Spock hardly got any sleep, so he spent most of the time reading or playing with Jim's hair. "Do you still wish to go upstairs, or will I have to take you here on the sofa for everyone to see?"

"Upstairs… please" Spock lifted Jim down, before leading Jim away. "I'm not happy about this. You'll be punished after this"

"Or you could punish me now? To save time" Jim shuddered, before pulling Spock into a long, passionate kiss on the landing. "I thought you weren't happy about this" Spock whispered, only moving away slightly, his lips brushing against Jim's as he spoke. The blonde's eyes were only slightly open, as he messed with the buttons on his lover's shirt.

"I'm not. You turned me on and I'm horny, so this is the only way of solving it. Get in there. Now" Jim was dragged into the room, and thrown on the bed. "Playing rough are we" Spock locked the door, before crossing the room and shutting the curtains.

"I have been waiting a very lengthy period of time to have you back in my bed, I required a lot of self-control to keep myself from ravishing you whilst you were in a state of depression, and I wanted you so badly it hurt"

"I'm all yours now" Jim whispered, before being straddled by the Vulcan. He kicked Tyler and Tina, who lived at the Grayson's when Jim forgot to take the home, off the bed. "They are still too young to see this" Spock laughed, pressing kisses to Jim's collarbone. "I love you so much"

"I love you too"

* * *

Spock wasn't expecting to find Jim in floods of tears when he awoke. The blond had wrapped himself in one of Spock's shirt, and was cuddling his toy turtles. Spock watched him for about 5 minutes, hoping to find a clue into why his boyfriend was crying after they had sex, but found nothing so let his presence become noticeable.

"James…" he whispered, wrapping his arms around Jim's waist.

"I'm sorry. I'm not crying because of you, you were amazing… my mom keeps trying to phone and I'm afraid to answer" Jim replied, wiping his eyes. "She keeps trying to contact me and I want to answer her but I'm scared and I don't know why" Jim fell back on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. Spock lay down beside him. "I love Amanda, she's been so kind and helpful to me, but I want my real mom"

"Would you like me to take you to see her, in person? We can go now if you wish" Jim turned over to smile at him, sniffing a little.

"No. Now is when we're supposed to cuddle and kiss and talk and have 'after-sex' sex and I've managed to fuck that up" Spock smiled, before hugging Jim around the waist, his head on Jim's chest. Jim laughed through his tears, stocking Spock's hair. "The 'Just been shagged' look looks good on you"

"Everything looks good on me"

"That is true" Jim giggled, before Spock lay flat on him, his chin resting on Jim's chest, looking up at him very quizzical. "What?"

"I am ready to listen to you"

"Do you really want to?"

"As you boyfriend, best friend and First Officer, it is my duty to listen to your problems and cater to your every needs"

"You know everything that went on between me and my mom right?"

"I know the basics"

"Well, she allowed her boyfriend to beat me up and lock me in a cupboard when he was drunk. I thought she knew, but she sent me a text the other day saying she had no idea, and her and Frank were separated for a long time, before he came grovelling at her doorstep, with evidence he'd been in rehab and stuff. They were going to try contact me, then Sam died and now I'm confused. I want to make everything better, but she had 3 years to explain this to me, why didn't she?"

"I do not know"

"Exactly, I don't know either!" Spock sat up, before hovering above the blond. He rubbed his nose against Jim's, making the blond laugh in a high pitched away. "Stop it. You know that makes me laugh like that"

"But it's adorable"

"You don't talk as formal as you did when we met. Except from when we're in public; it is something you do for me?"

"I am comfortable enough to lower my mental barriers around you, and speak like a human"

"Why do Vulcan's say that, they're human right? You're not an alien are you?" Spock laughed, before kissing Jim. "Let me guess, you find me stupidity adorable?"

"Yes, I do. But Vulcans are a very egotistic race, who believe they are above normal people and call them Human's. It is just something I have picked up over the years and am unable to seize using such a term"

"It's alright. And I noticed the ego thing" Spock tickled Jim's side, making him giggle and thrash about. "S-stop… stop it! SPOCK STOP IT! I'm sorry! Ha! Stop it!"

"Spock, stop attacking James and both of you put some clothes on. James, you mother is downstairs" Sarek called through the door, making them both jump. Spock looked down on Jim, who looked terrified, before rushing around to get ready.

* * *

Winona smiled at her son as he came down the stairs, holding tightly to Spock's hand. Spock noted how much Sam had looked like Winona, coming to the conclusion Jim must look like his late father, and it must pain Winona very much. As they came to the bottom of the stairs and into the living room, there was an uncomfortable silence.

"Spock, would you help me make some tea and snacks for our visitors" Amanda said, obviously trying to get out of the awkward situation. Spock nodded, kissing Jim on the top of the head before following his mother.

"He's very handsome, and you look very sweet together. I'm happy for you" Winona said softly, smiling at her son. Jim shuffled, looking at the ground. "I tried phoning, Chris gave me your number, but I know you must have been busy with him, his name is Spock, right?" Jim nodded, still not looking. "Must have not heard the phone ring or missed it or"

"I haven't. I know you've been trying to phone me and I've been ignoring you"

"I know. It was just nicer to think about it like that. I decided we need to talk, properly like adults, because that is what you are now; you're not the little boy who would run around the living room pretending to be a cat anymore" They both chuckled, before smiling at each other.

"Okay"

"I, firstly, want to apologize to you, for not being a mother before a girlfriend. I wanted to keep Frank happy, because he makes me happy, and I neglected you and Sam. I want to apologize for resenting you because of how much you look like your father, I still love him with all my heart, because it was love at first sight with us and he was my first love. I love Frank, but I will always love George… that is why Frank, in a drunken state, beat you because he saw how distressed I was, and thought he was doing well. When you ran away, I was so scared I was going to lose you and Frank lead the search party and everything, but you scared me when you came home. You had a mad look in your eye and when you screamed at night…. I was to upset and scared Jimmy, I really was. That's why I didn't come to you. Then Chris took you in, I kicked Frank out and went to live in Washington DC for a while, just to clear my head, and I got a job for a while. But it wasn't home. I came back a year and a half ago, and I saw how happy you were. It I had known it was a mask I would have run over and held you as close as I could, but I genially thought you were happy without me. Then Frank came back. He's different now Jimmy, we talked and you don't ever have to go near him if you don't want to. We were going to contact you to talk about this sooner, but then Sam died and that look came back, the one you had when you came home from New York, and I knew you needed time to heal. I miss you so much, and I've already lost one son. I can't lose you James. I can't" Her voice cracked at the end, and she took a few moments to compose herself. "That is all I wanted to say. You can think it over and get back to me, in your own time of course. I want you back in my life Jim"

Jim did think it over. Before hugging his mother as hard as he possibly could. They stood in an embrace for what seemed like hours, just holding each other in a way they hadn't been able to for 10 years. Things were looking up for the first time in 3 years; Jim had his mom back, and though it was going to be tough, they were going to take baby steps.


	8. Chapter 8

A week later, Jim found himself sat inside the coffee house, waiting for his mom and Frank. After Winona's visit to the Grayson residence, Jim and his mother had decided they would spend days out in public, to sort things out properly. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as he sat at the booth, with his 5th cup of coffee, he felt like he was going to be very, very ill. Checking his phone, he smiled at the text from Spock, which read: '_Good luck and I'll be ready with Thor, Avengers and a warm blanket if it doesn't go well xxx'._

'_Thank you xxxxxx!' _Jim text back, loving how well Spock knew him, and wasn't weirded out by Jim's crush on Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddlestone.

"Jimmy?" Winona said, as she and Frank approached. Frank was a tall man, with black/ greyish hair, and wasn't as fat as Jim remembered. He'd slandered out over the years, obviously in a way to impress his mother but at least he was trying. Jim stood up and kissed her check, and shock Frank's hand like and adult. "Thank you, for this… have you drank 5 espressos?"

"I didn't sleep very well last night. Nervous" Jim replied, sitting down. Winona and Frank sat across from him, and Jim downed the rest of his coffee. "So…"

"I want to apologize personally" Frank started, looking a little sheepish. "I am sorry; people do strange things when drunk and I just wanted to make your mother happy, because she means the world to me. I was surprised when you agreed to come, after what I did and all. Thank you"

"It's okay… I know you love her a lot"

"Now, Frank and I were talking, and you are always welcome to visit anytime you want. I know you are very comfortable at Chris and Lisa's, and you'll be going off to college soon so there is no point moving back in, but your room still has everything you left in it, so if you want, you can come over whenever you want. If you want to" Winona said.

"Yeah, okay. Can Spock come over as well?"

"Of course he can" They all smiled, before ordering more coffee. They chatted about normal things, like school, work and recent events. "You buried Sam in a very beautiful spot; I saw the lake we would go fishing in"

"Yeah… Sam once said he wanted to be buried next to Dad, so we could visit Dad as well" Winona nodded, looking into her coffee, and Frank put an arm around her. Jim smiled; he knew he had done the right thing.

"Thank you" he blurted out, before realising he'd said it. Winona and Frank looked at him quizzical. "For looking after my mom. Thank you"

"You're welcome kid" Jim grinned ear to ear. He had his family back.

Over the following weeks, Jim and the gang had their finals, all finishing in the top 10. After the festivities were over, Scotty and Nyota headed to Yale, while Pavel and Hiraku headed down to California to study there. Jim stayed to see his mom and Frank marry, before he and Spock went to New York to live in bliss. However a year after the move, after a long fight about… well, Jim couldn't remember anymore, the couple broke up, and Jim left town, returning to Iowa.

* * *

3 years later

"I heard Spock's back, visiting for the week. He got a master in Physics you know? And is teaching at NYU now" Winona mentioned, during one of her weekly check-up calls. Jim slumped down on the sofa, as he watched his latest bed-warmer sneak quietly out of the room. He had black hair… like Spock. _No, stop it! He's gone… but he's back. No! You just go over him. Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. _"Maybe we should go over and say hello. Me and Amanda still I have tea every Sunday"

"I don't know mum… I mean we didn't end it on good terms" Jim replied, messing with his mobile phone. His mother continued to rant about something that happened at the market the other day, while Jim flicked through his pictures. He stared at the last photo of him and Spock, in their apartment in New York. It over looked the entire city, something Jim could just stare at for hours. He missed Spock. "I want to go"

"What honey?"

"To see him… and Amanda and Sarek, I want to go see him. I want so see how he's doing"

"Alright, I will phone Amanda. Speak later Jimmy" Jim hung up, and curled into a ball on the sofa. He hadn't felt this scared or heartbroken since the break-up.

* * *

"Yeah, I changed my mind" Jim said, as they arrived at the Grayson residence. "What if he still hates me? What is he sees me and slams the door in my face?" Frank chuckled lightly, getting out of the car. Amanda, smiling softly at her son, stepped out of the car and opened the door for him. Jim sat in the car, looking at the floor.

"Jim, he agreed to have you over, he can't hate you" Amanda whispered, taking his hand. "What is this really about?"

"I don't think I can face him, hear that he's moved on when I haven't" Jim said quietly, looking up at his mother. She hugged him tightly, helping him out of the car.

"Maybe this will help you" Jim smiled weakly. "Brave face now James" Jim stood up right, like a solider, making his mother and step-father laugh. Frank knocked on the door, and a very smiley Amanda. She ushered them in side, talking to Jim about the garage he worked at, and if he'd take a look at the car when Spock appeared from the kitchen.

He looked exactly the same as when Jim left; still absolutely drop dead gorgeous in designer clothes. He smiled a lopsided grin at Jim, who wanted to cry. He also wanted to punch the git, hug him for agreeing to see him and rip his clothes off and take him on the rug in front of everybody. And due to the overflow of emotions, he just stood there showing no emotions and he was about to explode.

"It is good to see you again James" Spock said, and Jim just looked at the floor.

"Yeah… I'm going to be sick" Jim replied, before rushing into the kitchen. He thought he saw Spock about to follow him, but was held back by Sarek. Jim just sat in the kitchen, listening to his mom ask Spock about life in New York, if he was seeing anybody or anything. Jim felt a small amount of relief when Spock said he wasn't involved in anything serious with anyone, but that didn't mean he wasn't with anyone. Jim knew this was a bad idea, and decided just to go home, and call whoever he was to come over and let him pound his arse until he felt better.

"James, is everything alright?" Spock asked, walking in as Jim was about to leave.

"Don't call me that, and I'm going home. I've got someone wait there for me…" Jim headed to the back door, gripping onto the door handle, before turning around. "What was our fight about?"

"I don't remember. I think it was something about visiting your mother mid-term, and I said we couldn't miss our studies"

"Something that stupid"

"I'm very stubborn when it comes to education" Jim chuckled, before looking at the floor. "I know this will make no difference, as you are already in a relationship. But a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you; I tried to move on but it has been difficult when blond hair and blue eyes remind me of you, and every gay man in New York is blond. I still love but I am happy you are happy. I will let you go now" Spock turned around, boiling the kettle and waiting for it to finish. Arms wrapping around his middle made him jump, as Jim pressed his face to Spock's back. "I thought you were getting home to your partner"

"He's just someone to keep me satisfied and less lonely at night, I don't even know his name. Just a way to try and move on" Spock turned around, hugging Jim. "I still love you Spock, so much it hurts"

"I love you too" They held on to each other with all there might, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "James… do you remember what we planned to do when we graduated?" Jim pulled away, eyes wide and looking genially shocked, but nodded slowly.

"Of course I do… I planned everything out in one of my notebooks" Spock smiled, before leading Jim over to the table. The blond sat down on one of the chairs, with Spock kneeling in front of him, holding his hands.

"Why don't we go through with it? Yes, we only dated for 2 years or so, but for the last 3 years we've both still been in love with each other. I am able to work from home if you wanted to live here, or you could continue your course in New York" Spock rubbed the top of Jim's hands with his thumb, looking into his blue eyes.

"Ask me properly" Spock laughed, before smiling very gently at the blond. "Properly" Spock shifted so he was kneeling on one knee.

"James Tiberius Kirk, will you marry me?"

"Of course I will" Spock lifted him up, making Jim squeal with a bit of shock, kissing him with a lot of passion. Jim held his head in his hands, pressing a kiss to the Vulcan's forehead. "I love you. I love you so much and I wish I still had that notebook"

"I have it with me" Jim laughed, before kissing Spock again. Spock held him closer, adding depth to the kiss for a few moments.

"You're buffer then I remember"

"Gyms are very good places to find bed partners" Jim frowned a little, before being gracefully plonked on the ground. "Would you like to tell our parents now, or later?"

"Our mothers have their ears pressed against the door. You can come in now!" As soon as the word left his mouth, Amanda and Winona rushed in, making a big fuss about them and the wedding. Amanda was in tears, holding Jim's hands and congratulating them every five minutes.

"It was so heart breaking when we came to visit Spock in New York, the second I mentioned you, he broke down into tears, and he hadn't cried like that since he was 5" Amanda said, wiping her eyes. Jim looked over to the sheepish Spock, who nodded. "I'm happy you guys are back together, and even better getting married. Do you still have that notebook?"

"You told her?"

"Of course I did. It was adorable when you showed me" Spock replied, before rushing off. He returned with a well-loved notebook, presenting it to the blond. "Here we go. Do you still want to wear a dress?"

"That was a joke" Jim started flicking through, before smiling at Spock. "We're getting married. I'll have to tell Nyota" Jim rushed off dialling his friend. "Nyota, guess what! Me and Spock are getting married!" He held the phone away from ear, as Nyota screamed. "Yeah, I know but he was back in town and I went to his house and we just decided. Of course your maid of honour!" Jim walked into the living room, leaving poor Spock to have to answer all the questions.

After phoning everyone he knew that mattered, the Richardson- Kirk family were invited to stay for a celebration dinner, which was take-out pizza, as Jim insisted. Spock spent the entire evening with his arms around Jim, and Jim couldn't wait for them to have a party of their own. Sarek picked up on them, suggesting they go to Jim's house for 'down time'. Jim could have hugged the man, but Vulcan's don't hug people unless they are married to that person.

"Sorry about the mess" Jim apologized, opening the door. The apartment was tiny, with everything but the bathroom in one room. And it was very dark. "Not as great as our apartment, but I got it cheap and" Spock cut him off with a kiss, slamming the door shut and leading him over to the bed. "Still very controlling and dominate I see"

"You love it"

"You bet I do" Jim knelt on the bed, helping Spock out of his shirt. "Can I just rip it?"

"No. It's Armani" Jim rolled his eyes, before Spock pushed him down, kissing and biting the blonde's neck. "Don't roll your eyes at me" Jim wrapped his legs around his fiancé's (that was so fun to say, Spock was his fiancé) waist, bucking up. "Oh James… I have wanted to do this since you walked into my parents' house" Jim smiled, pressing his lips to every inch of Spock's face, before kissing down Spock's chest.

"Let me get on with it then" Spock chuckled, before lying on his back, as a way of saying 'Go ahead'. "Good boy"

"Your more confident in bed"

"I've had practice, apparent some people aren't so willing to give. Greedy bastards" Spock laughed, bringing Jim closer, kissing him with passion. He explored Jim's mouth, missing the warmth and comfort he found in there. "I've missed you so much"

"As have I"

* * *

A year later, Jim got his dream wedding and Spock married in New York, with all their friends and very extended family on Spock's side (weddings were big in Vulcan culture) to see. The reception was going well, and then Nyota stole the show by giving birth to her and Scotty's first child, a little boy who they called Angus. Bones came to the wedding alone, saying he was getting divorced, and was joining the army as he couldn't do anything else. Jim cried, and Bones assured him that he would be fine. Pavel and Hiraku ended up getting back together after almost 5 years. There break up had been a bit more civil, but it didn't mean they wanted it to happen. Spock walked in on them in the bathroom, as they forgot to look the door. And all this happened in a hospital room.

"Papa, when can we wake daddy up?"

"You can now, but do it gently" Jim was awoken by a small, blond toddler jumping on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Looking up, he saw a very unimpressed Spock scowling at the boy. "Sam that was not gently" Jim smiled, pulling his son closer. "Apologize to daddy"

"Sorry daddy…" Sam said, sniffling. Jim knew he did this before he cried, and he stopped it by tickling him gently, laughing at the small boy flew into a fight of laughter. "Happy birthday Daddy! Me and T'anna made you a present!"

"Really? Where is it then?" Jim asked, sitting Sam on his knee.

"It's downstairs, T'anna is looking after it. You have to get up to see it. And Papa made you coffee and Nanny is here!" Jim put the boy on the floor, before getting up. Sam took his hand, pulling him down the stairs. Spock followed closely behind, picking up Sam's twin sister T'anna who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Where Sam looked like Jim, T'anna took after Spock, with dark hair and fair skin, though she had Jim's blue eyes.

The twins were created as a trial run of Project 'Two Dad's'. The project worked by the nucleus from the sperm from one of the men, placed in an empty egg before being fused with the sperm of the other men, thus creating a child/ children with the DNA of both men. Nyota happily carried the twins for them, though Scotty was sure he was going to kill them when Nyota demanded chocolate covered French fries with caramel whilst undergoing pregnancy cravings. The twins were now 3, and were far too intelligent for their own good. Then again, with Spock's genes, they were bound to be. They spoke with excellent vocabulary, and were very adventurous, which wasn't always a good thing whilst living in New York. At least in Iowa they could run around Grandma Amanda's garden.

"Happy birthday Daddy, we made you a present with Nanny" T'anna said timidly, trying to hold on to Spock whilst cuddling Tina. Sam pulled Jim over to the table, presenting him with a papier-mâché baby turtle, which made the Jim burst into laughter. "Papa helped us. Do you like it?"

"I bet he did and I love it, thank you" Spock put their daughter down, who rushed off to find her Nanny, Winona, with her brother. Spock pulled Jim close, pressing a kiss to his temple. "You remembered"

"Of course I remember the turtle, we had our first date at an aquarium and Tina was the first birthday present I gave to you" Jim kissed him gently, wrapping his arms around Spock's neck. "Happy 30th Birthday James"

"Don't mention the age"

"You did on my birthday. It was on the cake and everything"

"Papa Sam keeps hitting me and stealing Tina! Make him stop!" T'anna screamed, rushing in. "Daddy!"

"Sam, give your sister back her toy or I will lock you in the cupboard!" Jim yelled, as the blond came running in. "I mean it young man, you've got to stop with this naughty behaviour"

"She called me stupid!" Sam screamed back, throwing the turtle down and bursting into tears. "It's not fair! You never believe me!" Sam threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming. Spock lifted him up, took him outside and sat him on the stairs. "It's not fair! It's not fair!"

"Listen. If your sister provokes you, you do not hit her, you come and tell me or Daddy" Spock explained calmly, as he was the best at this. Jim caved in a lot. "Now, I want you to apologize for hitting T'anna and for screaming at Daddy, then go sit in the living room with Nanny, Grandma and Granddad, alright?" The toddler nodded, and Spock took Sam by the hand, taking him into the kitchen again.

"I'm very sorry for shouting and hitting you T'anna" Sam muttered, shuffling about. Jim smiled, kneeling down to their level. Sam ran over, and T'anna joined in, for a big cuddle. "Are we going to visit Uncle Sam's grave tomorrow?"

"We'll have to set off early in the morning tomorrow, because Papa has an important meeting in the afternoon, so we're going to visit today" Jim whispered. It hurt more not to be there on the 12th anniversary of his brother's death more than it hurt that it was the 12th year Jim hadn't had his brother with him.

"There is coffee in the pot; I will go announce you have awakened. Come on children" Spock declared, and the twins ran over, taking their Papa's hand as they walked into the living room. Jim smiled at them, seeing Spock lift up Sam above his head, making the toddler squeal and giggle, before doing the same with T'anna. Though Spock had a panic attack a few weeks before the twins were born, about 'What if I'm a terrible father?' he was a natural and Jim was so glad because it had taken him weeks to figure out how to change a nappy. Making his cup of coffee, and trudging into the living room, Amanda and Winona hugged him and wished him a happy birthday, explaining who was coming over when.

The day was full of fun things. The twins got upset because Daddy was getting presents and they were lucky Amanda explained if carefully to them, and that if they were good she'd send Granddad off to the shop for sweeties. Amanda was the sweetie buying Grandma and Winona was the spoil them rotten Nanny. Christmas was hell. Chris and Lisa were over, with their grandchildren who were staying for the week. Sam got on with the youngest boy and they both got sat on the stairs for terrorising their sisters. Pavel and Hiraku made a surprise visit, and Nyota phoned to wish a happy birthday.

The day drew to an end, and it was the part Jim hated; visiting Sam. Wrapping the twins up, the family walked over to the cemetery, T'anna picking daisy's to put on the grave, even though Spock had bought some flowers. Though the twins never knew Sam, they admired him and understood that their Daddy loved him very much, and that Jim would get sad around about this time. They also liked to find people with funny names in the cemetery.

Spock took the twins on their 'funny name' hunt, leaving Jim to sit by the graves. He'd put flowers on Sam's and George's, and would normal sit in middle and talk to them, because it gave them comfort.

"Well… what has happened this year. The twins are great, they are so beautiful and smart and mischievous. Sam broke out of pre-school twice now, and I found him in the park on my lunch break. He'd remembered I go there for lunch and came and found me" Jim said, with a chuckle. "T'anna came in one day, saying she's decided she is going to be a model. The look on Spock's face was priceless, it really was. But then she decided she was going to be a neurosurgeon, and then asked what it was. Sam is still dead set on being a race car driver and also informed Spock that race car was spelt the same forward and backwards. Spock's doing great, head of the science lab now. I'm still doing Dark matter research, when Spock isn't distracting me" Jim laughed again, before looking down. "I wish you could have met Spock Dad… you'd like him. And the twins who think both of you are awesome. They are the best things that could ever happen to me and I'm sure Sam filled you in on Spock, Dad. I miss you both and I love you" Jim stood up, as Spock and the kids re-appeared.

"Daddy, we saw a grave, and it was Mr and Mrs Poop!" T'anna cried, as he brother giggled uncontrollably.

"Can we get hot chocolate now? And see if the lake has frozen over?" Sam asked, pointing over to the horizon. Jim followed the point, before grinned. The twins cried 'yeah!' before running off.

"Don't rush to far ahead!" Jim yelled, as Spock wrapped an arm around Jim's waist. "We better follow them"

"They get that from you" Spock replied, beginning to follow.

"Shut it"

"I wasn't complaining" Jim chuckled, leaning against Spock. The Vulcan kissed his cheek. "I love you, T'hy'la"

"I love you too" _Everything is fine Sam. After almost 15 years, everything is finally perfect._

* * *

**And that's it :( Thank you SOOOO much to everyone who faved, reviewed and read this story. I love you all so much xxxx**


	9. Authors note

**Hey! So, I recently re-read this and was like 'OMG! Why did I publish this, its terrible!' so, I've done a re-write :)**

** s/8805155/1/Through-thick-and-thin**

**so... yeah.. that's it!**


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